All through the last couple of seasons of Doctor Who – well, ever since Trenzalore was mentioned – it always bugged me a bit that the Eleventh Doctor was so afraid of Trenzalore. Yes, as a time traveler, you don’t want to visit your own grave, since theoretically when you do so, you die, but Eleven was terrified of it. It seemed so out of character, since all of the Doctors have been very much willing to sacrifice their own lives for their companions or for whatever people or planet they were trying to protect, even if there was no hope of regenerating.
It only just occurred to me, while writing the previous post, that the reason that Eleven is so terrified of Trenzalore is that this is his final incarnation, so going there is the last thing he’ll do: it’s not something a future incarnation will do. When he goes to Trenzalore, he will die and it won’t be for a noble cause, to protect anyone. He’ll just die. Now I feel the sense of urgency and danger, and the utter loss of hope that the name brings. I think if I go back to the episodes that mention it, they’ll feel very different to me.
Sometimes it takes me a while.